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Quote Author Rating Rate
"First the doctor told me the good news: I was going to have a disease named after me." Steve Martin 4.538461538461538 avg (0 votes) Rate this Quote
"Boy, those French, they have a different word for everything!" Steve Martin 3.857142857142857 avg (0 votes) Rate this Quote
"I believe that sex is one of the most beautiful, natural, wholesome things that money can buy." Steve Martin 4.904761904761905 avg (0 votes) Rate this Quote
"If stupidity got us into this mess, then why can't it get us out?" Will Rogers 4.444444444444445 avg (0 votes) Rate this Quote
"Of course the meek will inherit the earth, what, did you think they'd take it by force?" Author Unknown 4.555555555555555 avg (0 votes) Rate this Quote
"I can sell out Madison Square Garden masturbating." Mike Tyson 3.9714285714285715 avg (0 votes) Rate this Quote
"People want to know why I do this, why I write such gross stuff. I like to tell them that I have the heart of a small boy...and I keep it in a jar on my desk." Stephen King 4.75 avg (0 votes) Rate this Quote
"Beer is living proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy." Benjamin Franklin 4.83768115942029 avg (0 votes) Rate this Quote
"In real life, I assure you, there is no such thing as algebra." Fran Lebowitz 4.625 avg (0 votes) Rate this Quote
"I've done the calculation and your chances of winning the lottery are identical whether you play or or not." Fran Lebowitz 3.6666666666666665 avg (0 votes) Rate this Quote
"I never took hallucinogenic drugs because I never wanted my consciousness expanded one unnecessary iota." Fran Lebowitz 1.5 avg (0 votes) Rate this Quote
"When I read about the evils of drinking I gave up reading." Author Unknown 4.4 avg (0 votes) Rate this Quote
"Be careful about reading health books. You may die of a misprint." Mark Twain 4.6875 avg (0 votes) Rate this Quote
"Do not compute the totality of your poultry population until all the manifestations of incubation have been entirely completed." William Jennings Bryan 4.428571428571429 avg (0 votes) Rate this Quote
"I wish TV had a knob so you could turn up the intelligence. The one marked Brightness doesn't work." Leo Gallagher 4.5 avg (0 votes) Rate this Quote
"I can think of nothing more boring for the American people than to have to sit in their living rooms for a whole half hour looking at my face on their television screens." Dwight Eisenhower 3.4 avg (0 votes) Rate this Quote
"To cease smoking is the easiest thing I ever did. I ought to know because I've done it a thousand times." Mark Twain 4.125 avg (0 votes) Rate this Quote
"All the people throughout my life who were naysayers pissed me off. But they've all given me a fervor; an angry ambition that cannot be stopped - and I look forward to finding a therapist and working on that." Tobey Maguire 3.3333333333333335 avg (0 votes) Rate this Quote
"I don't want to achieve immortality through my work; I want to achieve immortality through not dying." Woody Allen 4.647058823529412 avg (0 votes) Rate this Quote
"If I were two-faced, would I be wearing this one?" Abraham Lincoln 4 avg (0 votes) Rate this Quote


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Abraham Lincoln Author Unknown Benjamin Franklin
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Henny Youngman Jon Stewart Larry Ellison
Leo Gallagher Mark Twain Mel Brooks
Mike Tyson Orson Welles Pierre Berton
Rodney Dangerfield Samuel Goldwyn Stephen King
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