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"I never took hallucinogenic drugs because I never wanted my consciousness expanded one unnecessary iota." -
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Top 5 quotes from Fran Lebowitz
"Special-interest publications should realize that if they are attracting enough advertising and readers to make a profit, the interest is not so special."
"Ask your child what he wants for dinner only if he's buying."
"Life is something that happens when you can't get to sleep."
"In real life, I assure you, there is no such thing as algebra."
"Remember that as a teenager you are at the last stage of your life when you will be happy to hear that the phone is for you."
Top 5 quotes from Comedy
"I believe that sex is one of the most beautiful, natural, wholesome things that money can buy."
"I'm very proud of my gold pocket watch. My grandfather, on his deathbed, sold me this watch."
"All I've ever wanted was an honest week's pay for an honest day's work."
"Beer is living proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy."
"The problem is not that we have too many fools, it's that the lightning isn't distributed right."
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