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"Tragedy is when I cut my finger. Comedy is when you walk into an open sewer and die."
"My son first wanted to go to Stanford, which I thought was O.K. The weather is pretty good, and it's a fairly short drive to the beach. But it wouldn't be as good as let's say, Pepperdine, which is in Malibu. And he said, 'Dad, what about the education?' I said, 'Clearly, I failed as a parent.'"
"I love deadlines. I especially like the whooshing sound they make as they go flying by."
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Charles de Gaulle
William Jennings Bryan