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Quote DB :: Comedy :: George Carlin Search in this category


Quote Author Rating Rate
"Have you ever noticed that anybody driving slower than you is an idiot, and anyone going faster than you is a maniac?" George Carlin 4.615384615384615 avg (0 votes) Rate this Quote
"The IQ and the life expectancy of the average American recently passed each other going in the oposite direction." George Carlin 4.944444444444445 avg (0 votes) Rate this Quote
"Well, if crime fighters fight crime and fire fighters fight fire, what do freedom fighters fight? They never mention that part to us, do they?" George Carlin 4.7727272727272725 avg (0 votes) Rate this Quote
"Weather forecast for tonight: dark." George Carlin 4.454545454545454 avg (0 votes) Rate this Quote
"Some national parks have long waiting lists for camping reservations. When you have to wait a year to sleep next to a tree, something is wrong." George Carlin 4.4 avg (0 votes) Rate this Quote
"I'm not concerned about all hell breaking loose, but that a PART of hell will break loose... it'll be much harder to detect." George Carlin 4.8 avg (0 votes) Rate this Quote
"Honesty may be the best policy, but it's important to remember that apparently, by elimination, dishonesty is the second-best policy." George Carlin 4.833333333333333 avg (0 votes) Rate this Quote
"Frisbeetarianism is the belief that when you die, your soul goes up on the roof and gets stuck." George Carlin 4.6521739130434785 avg (0 votes) Rate this Quote
"As a matter of principle, I never attend the first annual anything." George Carlin 4 avg (0 votes) Rate this Quote


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