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View all quotes by Woody Allen
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"I'm very proud of my gold pocket watch. My grandfather, on his deathbed, sold me this watch."
"Basically my wife was immature. I'd be at home in my bath and she'd come in and sink my boats."
"When we played softball, I'd steal second base, feel guilty and go back."
"I was thrown out of college for cheating on the metaphysics exam: I looked into the soul of another boy."
"It is impossible to travel faster than the speed of light, and certainly not desirable, as one's hat keeps blowing off."
"I don't want to achieve immortality through my work; I want to achieve immortality through not dying."