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Quote Author Rating Rate
"I would not join any club that would have someone like me for a member." Groucho Marx 4.740259740259741 avg (0 votes) Rate this Quote
"The music business is a cruel and shallow money trench, a long plastic hallway where thieves and pimps run free, and good men die like dogs. There's also a negative side." Hunter S. Thompson 4.426470588235294 avg (0 votes) Rate this Quote
"Like many intellectuals, he was incapable of saying a simple thing in a simple way." Marcel Proust 4.461538461538462 avg (0 votes) Rate this Quote
"Which painting in the National Gallery would I save if there was a fire? The one nearest the door of course." George Bernard Shaw 4 avg (0 votes) Rate this Quote
"Just the omission of Jane Austen's books alone would make a fairly good library out of a library that hadn't a book in it." Mark Twain 4.666666666666667 avg (0 votes) Rate this Quote
"I had a dream the other night. I dreamed that Jimmy Carter came to me and asked why I wanted his job. I told him I didn't want his job. I want to be President." Ronald Reagan 4.275862068965517 avg (0 votes) Rate this Quote
"If Al Gore invented the Internet, I invented spell check." Dan Quayle 4 avg (0 votes) Rate this Quote
"This report, by its very length, defends itself against the risk of being read." Winston Churchill 4.703703703703703 avg (0 votes) Rate this Quote
"Some folks look at me and see a certain swagger, which in Texas is called 'walking.'" George W. Bush 3.156862745098039 avg (0 votes) Rate this Quote
"I didn't attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it." Mark Twain 4.4375 avg (0 votes) Rate this Quote
"Suppose you were an idiot...and suppose you were a member of Congress...but I repeat myself." Mark Twain 4.526315789473684 avg (0 votes) Rate this Quote
"Nothing is wrong with Southern California that a rise in the ocean level wouldn't cure." Kenneth Millar 4.166666666666667 avg (0 votes) Rate this Quote
"It's easy to identify people who can't count to ten. They're in front of you in the supermarket express lane." M. Grundler 4.375 avg (0 votes) Rate this Quote
"The taxpayers are sending congressmen on expensive trips abroad. It might be worth it except they keep coming back." Will Rogers 4.9 avg (0 votes) Rate this Quote
"My mother never saw the irony in calling me a son-of-a-bitch." Jack Nicholson 4.84375 avg (0 votes) Rate this Quote
"The Supreme Court has ruled that they cannot have a nativity scene in Washington, D.C. This wasn't for any religious reasons. They couldn't find three wise men and a virgin." Jay Leno 4.714285714285714 avg (0 votes) Rate this Quote
"I'm number 10 at the box office. Right under Barbra Streisand. Can you imagine being under Barbra Streisand? Get me a bag. I may throw up." Walter Matthau 3.5555555555555554 avg (0 votes) Rate this Quote
"I have just returned from Boston. It is the only sane thing to do if you find yourself up there." Fred Allen 4.75 avg (0 votes) Rate this Quote
"He is a very modest man with a great deal to be modest about." Winston Churchill 4.75 avg (0 votes) Rate this Quote
"You may have genius. The contrary is, of course, probable." Oliver Wendell Holmes 4.8 avg (0 votes) Rate this Quote


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Browse Clever Jabs quotes by Author:
Abraham Lincoln Adlai Stevenson Arnold Schwarzenegger
Bill Maher Dan Quayle Dorothy Parker
Dwight Eisenhower Fran Lebowitz Fred Allen
George Bernard Shaw George Eliot George W. Bush
Groucho Marx Henry Ford Henry Kissinger
Hunter S. Thompson Jack Nicholson Jay Leno
John McCain Kenneth Millar Laurence Peter
M. Grundler Marcel Proust Margaret Thatcher
Mark Twain Muhammad Ali Oliver Wendell Holmes
Oscar Levant Oscar Wilde Rita Mae Brown
Robin Williams Ronald Reagan Rush Limbaugh
Saul Bellow Tim Blair Walter Matthau
Will Rogers William F. Buckley William Shakespeare
Winston Churchill    













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