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"That woman speaks eighteen languages and she can't say 'no' in any one of them."
Dorothy Parker
"I would like to take you seriously, but to do so would affront your intelligence."
William F. Buckley
"Deep versed in books and shallow in himself."
Henry Kissinger
"Corrupt politicians make the other ten percent look bad."
Henry Kissinger
"If my critics saw me walking over the Thames they would say it was because I couldn't swim."
Margaret Thatcher
"Denial ain't just a river in Egypt."
Mark Twain
"From the moment I picked your book up until I laid it down I was convulsed with laughter. Some day I intend reading it."
Groucho Marx
"I didn't attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it."
Mark Twain
"Jim Bakker spells his name with two k's because three would be too obvious."
Bill Maher
"There are two kinds of egotists: Those who admit it, and the rest of us."
Laurence Peter
"A pessimist is a man who looks both ways when he crosses the street."
Laurence Peter
"All God's children are not beautiful. Most of God's children are, in fact, barely presentable."
Fran Lebowitz
"An intellectual is a man who takes more words than necessary to tell more than he knows."
Dwight Eisenhower
"The difference between Los Angeles and yogurt is that yogurt comes with less fruit."
Rush Limbaugh
"If you are resolutely determined to make a lawyer of yourself, the thing is more than half done already."
Abraham Lincoln
"He can compress the most words into the smallest idea of any man I know."
Abraham Lincoln
"Some cause happiness wherever they go; others, whenever they go."
Oscar Wilde
"I've had a wonderful time, but this wasn't it."
Groucho Marx
"He has all the virtues I dislike and none of the vices I admire."
Winston Churchill
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