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Quote DB :: Comedy :: Clever Jabs Search in this category


Quote Author Rating Rate
"I've seen George Foreman shadow boxing and the shadow won." Muhammad Ali 4.862068965517241 avg (0 votes) Rate this Quote
"I may be drunk, Miss, but in the morning I will be sober and you will still be ugly." Winston Churchill 4.806451612903226 avg (0 votes) Rate this Quote
"An editor is someone who separates the wheat from the chaff and then prints the chaff." Adlai Stevenson 4.5 avg (0 votes) Rate this Quote
"I never forget a face, but in your case I'll be glad to make an exception." Groucho Marx 4.323529411764706 avg (0 votes) Rate this Quote
"Cocaine is God's way of telling someone that they're too rich." Robin Williams 4.555555555555555 avg (0 votes) Rate this Quote
"Imagination is a quality given a man to compensate him for what he is not, and a sense of humor was provided to console him for what he is." Oscar Wilde 4.523809523809524 avg (0 votes) Rate this Quote
"I like long walks, especially when they are taken by people who annoy me." Fred Allen 4.928571428571429 avg (0 votes) Rate this Quote
"A bore is a fellow who opens his mouth and puts his feats in it." Henry Ford 4.625 avg (0 votes) Rate this Quote
"She was what we used to call a suicide blond - dyed by her own hand." Saul Bellow 3 avg (0 votes) Rate this Quote
"If all the girls who attended the Yale prom were laid end to end, I wouldn't be a bit surprised." Dorothy Parker 4.9411764705882355 avg (0 votes) Rate this Quote
"I once said cynically of a politician, 'He'll doublecross that bridge when he comes to it.'" Oscar Levant 4.666666666666667 avg (0 votes) Rate this Quote
"I dote on his very absence." William Shakespeare 4.444444444444445 avg (0 votes) Rate this Quote
"Fashion is a form of ugliness so intolerable that we have to alter it every six months." Oscar Wilde 4.964285714285714 avg (0 votes) Rate this Quote
"I love Thanksgiving. It's the only time in Los Angeles that you see natural breasts." Arnold Schwarzenegger 3.8947368421052633 avg (0 votes) Rate this Quote
"He was like a cock who thought the sun had risen to hear him crow." George Eliot 4.5 avg (0 votes) Rate this Quote
"The statistics on sanity are that one out of every four Americans are suffering from some form of mental illness. Think of your three best friends. If they're okay, then it's you." Rita Mae Brown 4.625 avg (0 votes) Rate this Quote
"Thus far, the reputed idiot Bush has graduated from Yale and Harvard, made a stack of cash in the oil industry, become the first consecutive-term governor of Texas, defeated a dual-term VP for the presidency, and led his party to [November 5th's] extraordinary triumphs. Let his opponents keep calling him stupid; if they do, within five years Bush will be King of England, the Pope, and world Formula One motor racing champion." Tim Blair 3.5625 avg (0 votes) Rate this Quote
"As a woman, I find it very embarrassing to be in a meeting and realize I'm the only one in the room with balls." Rita Mae Brown 4.3076923076923075 avg (0 votes) Rate this Quote
"Washington is a Hollywood for ugly people. Hollywood is a Washington for the simpleminded." John McCain 3.923076923076923 avg (0 votes) Rate this Quote
"Never interrupt me when I'm trying to interrupt you." Winston Churchill 4.95 avg (0 votes) Rate this Quote


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Browse Clever Jabs quotes by Author:
Abraham Lincoln Adlai Stevenson Arnold Schwarzenegger
Bill Maher Dan Quayle Dorothy Parker
Dwight Eisenhower Fran Lebowitz Fred Allen
George Bernard Shaw George Eliot George W. Bush
Groucho Marx Henry Ford Henry Kissinger
Hunter S. Thompson Jack Nicholson Jay Leno
John McCain Kenneth Millar Laurence Peter
M. Grundler Marcel Proust Margaret Thatcher
Mark Twain Muhammad Ali Oliver Wendell Holmes
Oscar Levant Oscar Wilde Rita Mae Brown
Robin Williams Ronald Reagan Rush Limbaugh
Saul Bellow Tim Blair Walter Matthau
Will Rogers William F. Buckley William Shakespeare
Winston Churchill    













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