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:: Dorothy Parker
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Dorothy Parker's quotes
"You can't teach an old dogma new tricks."
"This wasn't just plain terrible, this was fancy terrible. This was terrible with raisins in it."
"This is not a novel to be tossed aside lightly. It should be thrown with great force."
"They sicken of the calm who know the storm."
"The two most beautiful words in the English language are 'check enclosed.'"
"The first thing I do in the morning is brush my teeth and sharpen my tongue."
"The best way to keep children home is to make the home atmosphere pleasant -- and let the air out of the tires."
"That would be a good thing for them to cut on my tombstone: Wherever she went, including here, it was against her better judgment."
"That woman speaks eighteen languages and she can't say 'no' in any one of them."
"Take care of the luxuries and the necessities will take care of themselves."
"Men seldom make passes at girls who wear glasses."
"Love is like quicksilver in the hand. Leave the fingers open and it stays. Clutch it, and it darts away."
"I'm never going to be famous. My name will never be writ large on the roster of Those Who Do Things. I don't do any thing. Not one single thing. I used to bite my nails, but I don't even do that any more."
"If you want to know what God thinks of money, just look at the people he gave it to."
"If all the girls who attended the Yale prom were laid end to end, I wouldn't be a bit surprised."
"I might repeat to myself slowly and soothingly, a list of quotations beautiful from minds profound - if I can remember any of the damn things."
"I don't care what is written about me, so long as it isn't true."
"Guns aren't lawful; nooses give; gas smells awful. So you might as well live."
Life & Death
"Four be the things I'd have been better without: love, curiosity, freckles and doubt."
"Every year, back comes Spring, with nasty little birds yapping their fool heads off and the ground all mucked up with plants."
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Life & Death