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"If I were two-faced, would I be wearing this one?" -
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Top 5 quotes from Abraham Lincoln
"If destruction be our lot, we must ourselves be its author and finisher. As a nation of freemen, we must live through all time, or die by suicide."
"Nearly all men can stand adversity, but if you want to test a man's character, give him power."
"I have been driven many times upon my knees by the overwhelming conviction that I had nowhere else to go. My own wisdom, and that of all about me, seemed insufficient for the day."
"No matter how much cats fight, there always seem to be plenty of kittens."
"I know that the Lord is always on the side of the right. But it is my constant anxiety and prayer that I and this nation should be on the Lords side."
Top 5 quotes from Comedy
"I believe that sex is one of the most beautiful, natural, wholesome things that money can buy."
"I'm very proud of my gold pocket watch. My grandfather, on his deathbed, sold me this watch."
"All I've ever wanted was an honest week's pay for an honest day's work."
"Beer is living proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy."
"The problem is not that we have too many fools, it's that the lightning isn't distributed right."