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"When a woman marries again it is because she detested her first husband. When a man marries again it is because he adored his first wife. Women try their luck; men risk theirs."
Oscar Wilde
"An engagement should come on a young girl as a surprise, pleasant or unpleasant, as the case may be. It is hardly a matter that she could be allowed to arrange for herself."
Oscar Wilde
"The difference between divorce and legal separation is that a legal separation gives a husband time to hide his money."
Johnny Carson
"I know you've been married to the same woman for 69 years. That is marvelous. It must be very inexpensive."
Johnny Carson
"Married men live longer than single men. But married men are a lot more willing to die."
Johnny Carson
"If variety is the spice of life, marriage is the big can of leftover Spam."
Johnny Carson
"Remember if you marry for beauty, thou bindest thyself all thy life for that which perchance, will neither last nor please thee one year: and when thou hast it, it will be to thee of no price at all."
Emily Dickinson
"My wife is as handsome as when she was a girl, and I...fell in love with her; and what is more, I have never fallen out."
Abraham Lincoln
"Behind every successful man is a woman, behind her is his wife."
Groucho Marx
"Ultimately the bond of all companionship, wheather in marriage or in friendship, is conversation."
Oscar Wilde
"My toughest fight was with my first wife."
Muhammad Ali
"It is not the lack of love, but a lack of friendship that makes unhappy marriages."
Friedrich Nietzsche
"Man's best possession is a sympathetic wife."
Euripides
"I have often wondered how it is that every man loves himself more than all the rest of men, but yet sets less value on his own opinion of himself than on the opinion of others."
Marcus Aurelius
"The whole purpose of a husband and wife is that when hard times knock at the door you should be able to embrace each other."
Nelson Mandela
"Whenever you want to marry someone, go have lunch with his ex-wife."
Francis William Bourdillon
"I'm not upset about my divorce. I'm only upset I'm not a widow."
Roseanne Barr
"Ah, yes, divorce...from the Latin word meaning to rip out a man's genitals through his wallet."
Robin Williams
"I take my wife everywhere, but she keeps finding her way back."
Henny Youngman
"I never knew what real happiness was until I got married, and by then it was too late."
Max Kaufman
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