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:: Henny Youngman
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Quote Rating Average (82%)
Author Rating (43%)
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Comedians
Henny Youngman
Quotes: (ranking: 620th)
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Henny Youngman's quotes
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Category
Rating
"I take my wife everywhere, but she keeps finding her way back."
Marriage
"My Grandmother is over eighty and still doesn't need glasses. Drinks right out of the bottle."
Age
,
Comedy
"All men are not homeless, but some men are home less than others."
"You can't buy love, but you can pay heavily for it."
Love
"I told the doctor I broke my leg in two places. He told me to quit going to those places."
Comedy
"I wanted to do something nice so I bought my mother-in-law a chair. Now they won't let me plug it in."
Family
"I once wanted to become an atheist, but I gave up - they have no holidays."
Atheism
,
Holidays
"I've got all the money I'll ever need, if I die by four o'clock."
Money
"If you're going to do something tonight that you'll be sorry for tomorrow morning, sleep late."
Miscellaneous
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