clever-jabs Quotes. clever-jabs Quotations Interactive Database. Page #3

�	Add Quotes to Your Site - Quote Generator add quote of the day, random quotes or by topic (e.g. funny quotes)

Quote DB :: Comedy :: Clever Jabs Search in this category

Quote	Author	Rating	Rate
"An intellectual is a man who takes more words than necessary to tell more than he knows."	Dwight Eisenhower
"It's easy to identify people who can't count to ten. They're in front of you in the supermarket express lane."	M. Grundler
"I never forget a face, but in your case I'll be glad to make an exception."	Groucho Marx
"As a woman, I find it very embarrassing to be in a meeting and realize I'm the only one in the room with balls."	Rita Mae Brown
"I had a dream the other night. I dreamed that Jimmy Carter came to me and asked why I wanted his job. I told him I didn't want his job. I want to be President."	Ronald Reagan
"Nothing is wrong with Southern California that a rise in the ocean level wouldn't cure."	Kenneth Millar
"If you are resolutely determined to make a lawyer of yourself, the thing is more than half done already."	Abraham Lincoln
"There are two kinds of egotists: Those who admit it, and the rest of us."	Laurence Peter
"If Al Gore invented the Internet, I invented spell check."	Dan Quayle
"Which painting in the National Gallery would I save if there was a fire? The one nearest the door of course."	George Bernard Shaw
"Jim Bakker spells his name with two k's because three would be too obvious."	Bill Maher
"Washington is a Hollywood for ugly people. Hollywood is a Washington for the simpleminded."	John McCain
"I love Thanksgiving. It's the only time in Los Angeles that you see natural breasts."	Arnold Schwarzenegger
"Thus far, the reputed idiot Bush has graduated from Yale and Harvard, made a stack of cash in the oil industry, become the first consecutive-term governor of Texas, defeated a dual-term VP for the presidency, and led his party to [November 5th's] extraordinary triumphs. Let his opponents keep calling him stupid; if they do, within five years Bush will be King of England, the Pope, and world Formula One motor racing champion."	Tim Blair
"I'm number 10 at the box office. Right under Barbra Streisand. Can you imagine being under Barbra Streisand? Get me a bag. I may throw up."	Walter Matthau
"The difference between Los Angeles and yogurt is that yogurt comes with less fruit."	Rush Limbaugh
"Some folks look at me and see a certain swagger, which in Texas is called 'walking.'"	George W. Bush
"She was what we used to call a suicide blond - dyed by her own hand."	Saul Bellow
"All God's children are not beautiful. Most of God's children are, in fact, barely presentable."	Fran Lebowitz

<< Previous 1 2 3

Browse Clever Jabs quotes by Author:

Abraham Lincoln	Adlai Stevenson	Arnold Schwarzenegger
Bill Maher	Dan Quayle	Dorothy Parker
Dwight Eisenhower	Fran Lebowitz	Fred Allen
George Bernard Shaw	George Eliot	George W. Bush
Groucho Marx	Henry Ford	Henry Kissinger
Hunter S. Thompson	Jack Nicholson	Jay Leno
John McCain	Kenneth Millar	Laurence Peter
M. Grundler	Marcel Proust	Margaret Thatcher
Mark Twain	Muhammad Ali	Oliver Wendell Holmes
Oscar Levant	Oscar Wilde	Rita Mae Brown
Robin Williams	Ronald Reagan	Rush Limbaugh
Saul Bellow	Tim Blair	Walter Matthau
Will Rogers	William F. Buckley	William Shakespeare
Winston Churchill

� Copyright QuoteDB.com

privacy

- Get a Quote
  
  in your email every day!
  
  We respect your privacy.
  You can unsubscribe at any time.

Get a random quote daily in your email!