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"I never knew what real happiness was until I got married, and by then it was too late."
Max Kaufman
"Behind every successful man is a woman, behind her is his wife."
Groucho Marx
"It is most unwise for people in love to marry."
George Bernard Shaw
"A man in love is incomplete until he has married. Then he's finished."
Zsa Zsa Gabor
"Getting divorced just because you don't love a man is almost as silly as getting married just because you do."
Zsa Zsa Gabor
"Keep your eyes wide open before marriage, half shut afterwards."
Benjamin Franklin
"It's a funny thing that when a man hasn't anything on earth to worry about, he goes off and gets married."
Robert Frost
"Love at first sight is easy to understand; it's when two people have been looking at each other for a lifetime that it becomes a miracle."
Amy Bloom
"Honeymoon: a short period of doting between dating and debating."
Ray Bandy
"Basically my wife was immature. I'd be at home in my bath and she'd come in and sink my boats."
Woody Allen
"Nearly all marriages, even happy ones, are mistakes: in the sense that almost certainly (in a more perfect world, or even with a little more care in this very imperfect one) both partners might be found more suitable mates. But the real soulmate is the one you are actually married to."
J.R.R. Tolkien
"God help the man who won't marry until he finds a perfect woman, and God help him still more if he finds her."
Benjamin Tillet
"I guess the only way to stop divorce is to stop marriage."
Will Rogers
"No man should have a secret from his wife; she invariably finds out."
Oscar Wilde
"Ah, yes, divorce...from the Latin word meaning to rip out a man's genitals through his wallet."
Robin Williams
"I'm not upset about my divorce. I'm only upset I'm not a widow."
Roseanne Barr
"Let us now set forth one of the fundamental truths about marriage: the wife is in charge."
Bill Cosby
"Remember if you marry for beauty, thou bindest thyself all thy life for that which perchance, will neither last nor please thee one year: and when thou hast it, it will be to thee of no price at all."
Emily Dickinson
"My wife is as handsome as when she was a girl, and I...fell in love with her; and what is more, I have never fallen out."
Abraham Lincoln
"I know you've been married to the same woman for 69 years. That is marvelous. It must be very inexpensive."
Johnny Carson
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