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"What ought to be done to the man who invented the celebrating of anniversaries? Mere killing would be too light." -
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Top 5 quotes from Mark Twain
"Always do right - this will gratify some and astonish the rest."
"It is better to keep your mouth closed and let people think you are a fool than to open it and remove all doubt."
"It ain't what you don't know that gets you into trouble. It's what you know for sure that just ain't so."
"I have never let my schooling interfere with my education."
"There is no sadder sight than a young pessimist."
Top 5 quotes from Holidays
"The first of April is the day we remember what we are the other 364 days of the year."
"What ought to be done to the man who invented the celebrating of anniversaries? Mere killing would be too light."
"I love Thanksgiving. It's the only time in Los Angeles that you see natural breasts."
"I once wanted to become an atheist, but I gave up - they have no holidays."
"A University of Chicago professor said the greatest day in the world was when a water puppy crawled out on land and decided to stay. The water puppy, he said, went on to become a man. If he proves that, I am willing to give up Christmas, Thanksgiving, and New Year's Day, and to celebrate Water Puppy Day."
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