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"No, no, no, Lisa. If adults don't like their jobs, they don't go on strike. They just go in every day and do it really half-assed." -
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Top 5 quotes from Homer Simpson
"Weaseling out of things is important to learn. It's what separates us from the animals... except the weasel."
"If God didn't want us to eat animals, why did he make them out of meat?"
"Old people don't need companionship. They need to be isolated and studied so it can be determined what nutrients they have that might be extracted for our personal use."
"English? Who needs that? I'm never going to England."
"Haven't you learned anything from that guy that gives those sermons in church? Captain What's-his-name. We live in a society of laws, why do you think I took you to see all those Police Academy movies? For fun? Well I didn't hear anybody laughing! Did you? Except at that guy who made sound effects. Vroom! Beep! Honk! Honk! Ha-ha. Where was I? Oh yeah, stay out of my booze!"
Top 5 quotes from The Simpsons
"I saw this in a movie about a bus that had to SPEED around a city, keeping its SPEED over fifty, and if its SPEED dropped, it would explode! I think it was called, 'The Bus That Couldn't Slow Down.'"
"If he's so smart, how come he's dead?"
"I'm not normally a religious man, but if you're up there, save me, Superman!"
"Put out an APB for a male suspect, driving a... car of some sort, heading in the direction of, uh, you know, that place that sells chili. Suspect is hatless. Repeat, hatless."
"What is a wedding? Webster's dictionary defines a wedding as 'the process of removing weeds from one's garden.'"