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"We have the Bill of Rights. What we need is a Bill of Responsibilities." -
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Top 5 quotes from Bill Maher
"Women cannot complain about men anymore until they start getting better taste in them."
"The reason I love my dog so much is because when I come home, he's the only one in the world who treats me like I'm The Beatles."
"Suicide is man's way of telling God, 'You can't fire me - I quit.'"
"The cable TV sex channels don't expand our horizons, don't make us better people and don't come in clearly enough."
"Everything that used to be a sin is now a disease."
Top 5 quotes from Miscellaneous
"Sex and creativity are often seen by dictators as subversive activities."
"Everything in the world may be endured except continued prosperity."
"Man has almost constant occasion for the help of his brethren, and it is in vain for him to expect it from their benevolence only."
"Every individual...generally, indeed, neither intends to promote the public interest, nor knows how much he is promoting it. By preferring the support of domestic to that of foreign industry he intends only his own security; and by directing that industry in such a manner as its produce may be of the greatest value, he intends only his own gain, and he is in this, as in many other cases, led by an invisible hand to promote an end which was no part of his intention."
"My second favorite household chore is ironing. My first being hitting my head on the top bunk bed until I faint."