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"My second favorite household chore is ironing. My first being hitting my head on the top bunk bed until I faint." -
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Top 5 quotes from Erna Bombeck
"Don't confuse fame with success. Madonna is one; Helen Keller is the other."
"There are people who put their dreams in a little box and say, Yes, I've got dreams, of course I've got dreams. Then they put the box away and bring it out once in awhile to look in it, and yep, they're still there."
"One thing they never tell you about child raising is that for the rest of your life, at the drop of a hat, you are expected to know your child's name and how old he or she is."
"There's nothing sadder in this world than to awake Christmas morning and not be a child."
"What we're really talking about is a wonderful day set aside on the fourth Thursday of November when no one diets. I mean, why else would they call it Thanksgiving?"
Top 5 quotes from Miscellaneous
"Sex and creativity are often seen by dictators as subversive activities."
"Everything in the world may be endured except continued prosperity."
"Man has almost constant occasion for the help of his brethren, and it is in vain for him to expect it from their benevolence only."
"Every individual...generally, indeed, neither intends to promote the public interest, nor knows how much he is promoting it. By preferring the support of domestic to that of foreign industry he intends only his own security; and by directing that industry in such a manner as its produce may be of the greatest value, he intends only his own gain, and he is in this, as in many other cases, led by an invisible hand to promote an end which was no part of his intention."
"My second favorite household chore is ironing. My first being hitting my head on the top bunk bed until I faint."