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"There's nothing sadder in this world than to awake Christmas morning and not be a child." -
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Top 5 quotes from Erna Bombeck
"Don't confuse fame with success. Madonna is one; Helen Keller is the other."
"My second favorite household chore is ironing. My first being hitting my head on the top bunk bed until I faint."
"There are people who put their dreams in a little box and say, Yes, I've got dreams, of course I've got dreams. Then they put the box away and bring it out once in awhile to look in it, and yep, they're still there."
"One thing they never tell you about child raising is that for the rest of your life, at the drop of a hat, you are expected to know your child's name and how old he or she is."
"What we're really talking about is a wonderful day set aside on the fourth Thursday of November when no one diets. I mean, why else would they call it Thanksgiving?"
Top 5 quotes from Christmas
"Christmas is a time when everybody wants his past forgotten and his present remembered."
"Christmas is a time when you get homesick, even when you're home."
"There has been only one Christmas - the rest are anniversaries."
"Next to a circus there ain't nothing that packs up and tears out faster than the Christmas spirit."
"Christmas is a time when kids tell Santa what they want and adults pay for it. Deficits are when adults tell the government what they want and their kids pay for it."
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