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"Under certain circumstances, profanity provides a relief denied even to prayer." -
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Top 5 quotes from Mark Twain
"Always do right - this will gratify some and astonish the rest."
"It is better to keep your mouth closed and let people think you are a fool than to open it and remove all doubt."
"It ain't what you don't know that gets you into trouble. It's what you know for sure that just ain't so."
"I have never let my schooling interfere with my education."
"There is no sadder sight than a young pessimist."
Top 5 quotes from Miscellaneous
"Sex and creativity are often seen by dictators as subversive activities."
"Everything in the world may be endured except continued prosperity."
"Man has almost constant occasion for the help of his brethren, and it is in vain for him to expect it from their benevolence only."
"Every individual...generally, indeed, neither intends to promote the public interest, nor knows how much he is promoting it. By preferring the support of domestic to that of foreign industry he intends only his own security; and by directing that industry in such a manner as its produce may be of the greatest value, he intends only his own gain, and he is in this, as in many other cases, led by an invisible hand to promote an end which was no part of his intention."
"My second favorite household chore is ironing. My first being hitting my head on the top bunk bed until I faint."
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