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Quote DB :: Comedy :: Clever Jabs Search in this category Sponsored Links Quote Author Rating Rate "He can compress the most words into the smallest idea of any man I know." Abraham Lincoln "If you are resolutely determined to make a lawyer of yourself, the thing is more than half done already." Abraham Lincoln "An editor is someone who separates the wheat from the chaff and then prints the chaff." Adlai Stevenson "I love Thanksgiving. It's the only time in Los Angeles that you see natural breasts." Arnold Schwarzenegger "Jim Bakker spells his name with two k's because three would be too obvious." Bill Maher "If Al Gore invented the Internet, I invented spell check." Dan Quayle "That woman speaks eighteen languages and she can't say 'no' in any one of them." Dorothy Parker "If all the girls who attended the Yale prom were laid end to end, I wouldn't be a bit surprised." Dorothy Parker "An intellectual is a man who takes more words than necessary to tell more than he knows." Dwight Eisenhower "All God's children are not beautiful. Most of God's children are, in fact, barely presentable." Fran Lebowitz "I like long walks, especially when they are taken by people who annoy me." Fred Allen "I have just returned from Boston. It is the only sane thing to do if you find yourself up there." Fred Allen "He was like a cock who thought the sun had risen to hear him crow." George Eliot "Which painting in the National Gallery would I save if there was a fire? The one nearest the door of course." George Bernard Shaw "Some folks look at me and see a certain swagger, which in Texas is called 'walking.'" George W. Bush "I've had a wonderful time, but this wasn't it." Groucho Marx "From the moment I picked your book up until I laid it down I was convulsed with laughter. Some day I intend reading it." Groucho Marx "I never forget a face, but in your case I'll be glad to make an exception." Groucho Marx "I would not join any club that would have someone like me for a member." Groucho Marx "Corrupt politicians make the other ten percent look bad." Henry Kissinger 1 2 3 Next >> Browse Clever Jabs quotes by Author: Abraham Lincoln Adlai Stevenson Arnold Schwarzenegger Bill Maher Dan Quayle Dorothy Parker Dwight Eisenhower Fran Lebowitz Fred Allen George Bernard Shaw George Eliot George W. Bush Groucho Marx Henry Ford Henry Kissinger Hunter S. Thompson Jack Nicholson Jay Leno John McCain Kenneth Millar Laurence Peter M. Grundler Marcel Proust Margaret Thatcher Mark Twain Muhammad Ali Oliver Wendell Holmes Oscar Levant Oscar Wilde Rita Mae Brown Robin Williams Ronald Reagan Rush Limbaugh Saul Bellow Tim Blair Walter Matthau Will Rogers William F. Buckley William Shakespeare Winston Churchill

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