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"Those are my principles. If you don't like them I have others." -
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Top 5 quotes from Groucho Marx
"Anyone can get old, all you have to do is live long enough."
"I've had a wonderful time, but this wasn't it."
"Quote me as saying I was mis-quoted."
"Outside of a dog, a book is a man's best friend. Inside of a dog, it is too dark to read."
"From the moment I picked your book up until I laid it down I was convulsed with laughter. Some day I intend reading it."
Top 5 quotes from Comedy
"I believe that sex is one of the most beautiful, natural, wholesome things that money can buy."
"I'm very proud of my gold pocket watch. My grandfather, on his deathbed, sold me this watch."
"All I've ever wanted was an honest week's pay for an honest day's work."
"Beer is living proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy."
"The problem is not that we have too many fools, it's that the lightning isn't distributed right."