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"I believe that our Heavenly Father invented man because he was disappointed in the monkey." -
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Top 5 quotes from Mark Twain
"Always do right - this will gratify some and astonish the rest."
"It is better to keep your mouth closed and let people think you are a fool than to open it and remove all doubt."
"It ain't what you don't know that gets you into trouble. It's what you know for sure that just ain't so."
"I have never let my schooling interfere with my education."
"There is no sadder sight than a young pessimist."
Top 5 quotes from Animals, Anti-God
"Is man one of God's blunders? Or is God one of man's blunders?"
"We must question the story logic of having an all-knowing all-powerful God, who creates faulty Humans, and then blames them for his own mistakes."
"The invisible and the non-existent look very much alike."
"I cannot believe in a God who wants to be praised all the time."
"Gods are fragile things; they may be killed by a whiff of science or a dose of common sense."