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Douglas Adams
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"I am so amazingly cool you could keep a side of meat in me for a month. I am so hip I have difficulty seeing over my pelvis."
"I love deadlines. I especially like the whooshing sound they make as they go flying by."
"If it looks like a duck, and quacks like a duck, we have at least to consider the possibility that we have a small aquatic bird of the family anatidae on our hands."
"It is a mistake to think you can solve any major problems just with potatoes."
"Nothing travels faster than the speed of light, with the possible exception of bad news, which obeys its own set of laws."
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