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"I am so amazingly cool you could keep a side of meat in me for a month. I am so hip I have difficulty seeing over my pelvis." -
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Top 5 quotes from Douglas Adams
"Anyone who is capable of getting themselves made President should on no account be allowed to do the job."
"Man [has] always assumed that he was more intelligent than dolphins because he had achieved so much-the wheel, New York, wars and so on-while all the dolphins had ever done was muck about in the water having a good time. But conversely, the dolphins had always believed that they were far more intelligent than man-for precisely the same reason."
"There is a theory which states that if ever anyone discovers exactly what the Universe is for and why it is here, it will instantly disappear and be replaced by something even more bizarre and inexplicable. There is another theory which states that this has already happened."
"In the beginning, the universe was created. This made a lot of people very angry, and has been widely regarded as a bad idea."
"Nothing travels faster than the speed of light, with the possible exception of bad news, which obeys its own set of laws."
Top 5 quotes from Comedy
"I believe that sex is one of the most beautiful, natural, wholesome things that money can buy."
"I'm very proud of my gold pocket watch. My grandfather, on his deathbed, sold me this watch."
"All I've ever wanted was an honest week's pay for an honest day's work."
"Beer is living proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy."
"The problem is not that we have too many fools, it's that the lightning isn't distributed right."
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