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Quote DB :: Comedy :: Clever Jabs Search in this category Sponsored Links Quote Author Rating Rate "I've seen George Foreman shadow boxing and the shadow won." Muhammad Ali "I may be drunk, Miss, but in the morning I will be sober and you will still be ugly." Winston Churchill "An editor is someone who separates the wheat from the chaff and then prints the chaff." Adlai Stevenson "I never forget a face, but in your case I'll be glad to make an exception." Groucho Marx "Cocaine is God's way of telling someone that they're too rich." Robin Williams "Imagination is a quality given a man to compensate him for what he is not, and a sense of humor was provided to console him for what he is." Oscar Wilde "I like long walks, especially when they are taken by people who annoy me." Fred Allen "A bore is a fellow who opens his mouth and puts his feats in it." Henry Ford "She was what we used to call a suicide blond - dyed by her own hand." Saul Bellow "If all the girls who attended the Yale prom were laid end to end, I wouldn't be a bit surprised." Dorothy Parker "I once said cynically of a politician, 'He'll doublecross that bridge when he comes to it.'" Oscar Levant "I dote on his very absence." William Shakespeare "Fashion is a form of ugliness so intolerable that we have to alter it every six months." Oscar Wilde "I love Thanksgiving. It's the only time in Los Angeles that you see natural breasts." Arnold Schwarzenegger "He was like a cock who thought the sun had risen to hear him crow." George Eliot "The statistics on sanity are that one out of every four Americans are suffering from some form of mental illness. Think of your three best friends. If they're okay, then it's you." Rita Mae Brown "Thus far, the reputed idiot Bush has graduated from Yale and Harvard, made a stack of cash in the oil industry, become the first consecutive-term governor of Texas, defeated a dual-term VP for the presidency, and led his party to [November 5th's] extraordinary triumphs. Let his opponents keep calling him stupid; if they do, within five years Bush will be King of England, the Pope, and world Formula One motor racing champion." Tim Blair "As a woman, I find it very embarrassing to be in a meeting and realize I'm the only one in the room with balls." Rita Mae Brown "Washington is a Hollywood for ugly people. Hollywood is a Washington for the simpleminded." John McCain "Never interrupt me when I'm trying to interrupt you." Winston Churchill << Previous 1 2 3 Next >> Browse Clever Jabs quotes by Author: Abraham Lincoln Adlai Stevenson Arnold Schwarzenegger Bill Maher Dan Quayle Dorothy Parker Dwight Eisenhower Fran Lebowitz Fred Allen George Bernard Shaw George Eliot George W. Bush Groucho Marx Henry Ford Henry Kissinger Hunter S. Thompson Jack Nicholson Jay Leno John McCain Kenneth Millar Laurence Peter M. Grundler Marcel Proust Margaret Thatcher Mark Twain Muhammad Ali Oliver Wendell Holmes Oscar Levant Oscar Wilde Rita Mae Brown Robin Williams Ronald Reagan Rush Limbaugh Saul Bellow Tim Blair Walter Matthau Will Rogers William F. Buckley William Shakespeare Winston Churchill

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