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"What I don't like about office Christmas parties is looking for a job the next day." -
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Top 5 quotes from Phyllis Diller
"Christmas is a time when everybody wants his past forgotten and his present remembered."
"Cleaning your house while your kids are still growing is like shoveling the walk before it stops snowing."
Top 5 quotes from Christmas
"Christmas is a time when you get homesick, even when you're home."
"There has been only one Christmas - the rest are anniversaries."
"Next to a circus there ain't nothing that packs up and tears out faster than the Christmas spirit."
"Christmas is a time when kids tell Santa what they want and adults pay for it. Deficits are when adults tell the government what they want and their kids pay for it."
"And the Grinch, with his Grinch-feet ice cold in the snow, stood puzzling and puzzling, how could it be so? It came without ribbons. It came without tags. It came without packages, boxes or bags. And he puzzled and puzzled 'till his puzzler was sore. Then the Grinch thought of something he hadn't before. What if Christmas, he thought, doesn't come from a store? What if Christmas, perhaps, means a little bit more?"
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