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"Stand-up comedy is transient. History shows that you can stand up for so long; after that, you're asked to sit down." -
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Top 5 quotes from Steve Martin
"I believe that sex is one of the most beautiful, natural, wholesome things that money can buy."
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"Don't have sex man. It leads to kissing and pretty soon you have to start talking to them."
"You know what your problem is? It's that you haven't seen enough movies - all of life's riddles are answered in the movies."
"The greatest thing you can do is surprise yourself."
Top 5 quotes from Comedy
"I'm very proud of my gold pocket watch. My grandfather, on his deathbed, sold me this watch."
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"Outside of a dog, a book is a man's best friend. Inside of a dog, it is too dark to read."
"Tragedy is when I cut my finger. Comedy is when you walk into an open sewer and die."
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