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"If you can't dazzle them with brilliance, baffle them with bull." -
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Top 5 quotes from W.C. Fields
"I always keep a supply of stimulant handy in case I see a snake -- which I also keep handy."
"If at first you don't succeed, try, try again. Then quit. No use being a damn fool about it."
"Start off every day with a smile and get it over with."
Top 5 quotes from Talking
"It is perfectly monstrous the way people go about, nowadays, saying things against one behind one's back that are absolutely and entirely true."
"None are so fond of secrets as those who do not mean to keep them."
"No man ever listened himself out of a job."
"What this country needs is more free speech worth listening to."
"People have to talk about something just to keep their good voice boxes in working order, so they'll have good voice boxes in case there's ever anything really meaningful to say."