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W.C. Fields
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"Start off every day with a smile and get it over with."
Happiness
"If you can't dazzle them with brilliance, baffle them with bull."
Talking
"I always keep a supply of stimulant handy in case I see a snake -- which I also keep handy."
Miscellaneous
"If at first you don't succeed, try, try again. Then quit. No use being a damn fool about it."
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