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Author Unknown
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Category
Rating
"When I read about the evils of drinking I gave up reading."
Comedy
"My goal is to someday be the person my dog thinks I am."
Comedy
"There is no 'I' in 'team.' "
Sports
"Who does not thank for little will not thank for much."
Thanksgiving
"Don't let people drive you crazy when you know it's in walking distance."
Comedy
"God gave us two ends. One to sit on and one to think with. Success depends on which one you use; head you win, tail, you lose."
Success
"Some people use language to express thought, some to conceal thought, and others instead of thought."
Talking
"We give thanks for unknown blessings already on their way."
Thanksgiving
"Socialism: An attempt to curb the destructive power of monopolies by creating the biggest one of all."
Government
"Principles only mean something when you stick to them when its inconvenient."
Virtue
"Patience is something you admire in the driver behind you, but not in one ahead."
Miscellaneous
"Remember when safe sex meant not getting caught?"
Sex
"If everybody's thinking alike, somebody isn't thinking."
Thinking
"Can't live with 'em. Can't legally torture them to death."
Women
"A man doesnt want a child he is a dead beat dad. A woman doesnt want a child she is pro choice."
Abortion
"If investments are keeping you awake at night, sell down to the sleeping point."
Business
,
Money
"Stupid people surround themselves with smart people. Smart people surround themselves with smart people who disagree with them."
Miscellaneous
"Civilized people need love for full sexual satisfaction."
Love
,
Sex
"Sometimes the majority just means all the idiots are on the same side."
Miscellaneous
"Home is where you come when you run out of places."
Miscellaneous
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