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Henny Youngman
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"I once wanted to become an atheist, but I gave up - they have no holidays." -
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Henny Youngman
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Atheism
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Holidays
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Top 5 quotes from Henny Youngman
"I take my wife everywhere, but she keeps finding her way back."
"My Grandmother is over eighty and still doesn't need glasses. Drinks right out of the bottle."
"All men are not homeless, but some men are home less than others."
"You can't buy love, but you can pay heavily for it."
"I wanted to do something nice so I bought my mother-in-law a chair. Now they won't let me plug it in."
Top 5 quotes from Atheism, Holidays
"What ought to be done to the man who invented the celebrating of anniversaries? Mere killing would be too light."
"The first of April is the day we remember what we are the other 364 days of the year."
"I love Thanksgiving. It's the only time in Los Angeles that you see natural breasts."
"I once wanted to become an atheist, but I gave up - they have no holidays."
"A University of Chicago professor said the greatest day in the world was when a water puppy crawled out on land and decided to stay. The water puppy, he said, went on to become a man. If he proves that, I am willing to give up Christmas, Thanksgiving, and New Year's Day, and to celebrate Water Puppy Day."
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