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"I stopped getting the girl about ten years ago. Which is just as well because I'd forgotten what I wanted her for."
John Wayne
"I have an intense desire to return to the womb. Anybody's."
Woody Allen
"Sex is emotion in motion."
Mae West
"Sex without love is a meaningless experience, but as far as meaningless experiences go, it's pretty damn good."
Woody Allen
"The cable TV sex channels don't expand our horizons, don't make us better people and don't come in clearly enough."
Bill Maher
"This is the second most exciting indoor sport, and the other one shouldn't have spectators."
Dick Vertleib
"Children today know more about sex than I or my father did."
Bill Cosby
"Last night I discovered a new form of oral contraceptive. I asked a girl to go to bed with me and she said no."
Woody Allen
"Remember, if you smoke after sex you're doing it too fast."
Woody Allen
"There is one thing I would break up over, and that is if she caught me with another woman. I won't stand for that."
Steve Martin
"Love is the answer, but while you are waiting for the answer, sex raises some pretty good questions."
Woody Allen
"I believe that sex is a beautiful thing between two people. Between five, it's fantastic."
Woody Allen
"I heard guys say they got into rock and roll to pick up women. I didn't get into rock to pick up women, but I sure adapted."
Ted Nugent
"Playboy exploits sex the way Sports Illustrated exploits sports."
Hugh Hefner
"The difference between pornography and erotica is lighting."
Gloria Leonard
"The difference between sex and death is that with death you can do it alone and no one is going to make fun of you."
Woody Allen
"Being with a woman never hurt no professional ball player. It's staying up all night looking for a woman that does him in."
Casey Stengel
"Men want a woman whom they can turn on and off like a light switch."
Ian Fleming
"We have reason to believe that man first walked upright to free his hands for masturbation."
Lily Tomlin
"We may eventually come to realize that chastity is no more a virtue than malnutrition."
Alex Comfort
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